If you came in expecting something that’s gonna change your life in a few minutes, I’m so sorry to disappoint you. This is just a culmination of a few stuff I screwed up.
This is clearly neither motivation, nor inspiration. Just a collection of me listing down my mistakes, for which I’m grateful for, without whom I wouldn’t grow.
In the grander scheme of life, I’m thankful for making these mistakes very early on, allowing me to retrospect, realize & grow.
Mistake #1 — Comparing Toooo Much.
I come from an very under-privileged college. There is literally no growth at all over there, even as an individual or career. I came into the world of communities, halfway through my graduation, when my 3rd year kick-started & I was exposed to this world of immense possibilities.
It took me a decent amount of time to catch up with this world & understand how things work into making the best outta them.
What did I end up with? Massive FOMO. I was devastated of how much I was left behind & how people of my same age were doing stuff 3x better. I started the biggest mistake one could ever make, Comparing.
Since, most of my community life happens to be online, being more & more isolated in my own world of thoughts, it takes to the extremes. I started feeling shit as hell for joining such an institution & for everything I’d missed out. I was clearly not looking into the opportunities & time that lies ahead, rather regret about the past.
Since my campus has nothing called “growth”, everyone are within their comfort zone, best within it. When exposed to such a new world, the walls begin to crack. Perspectives start shaking up.
I compared myself with people soooo much & started doing anything & everything that came the way to reach upto them, not seeking what I really wanted to do. Not focusing on the process, rather the outcomes.
I was chasing literally anything to be like them, not because I wanted to. Because, I didn’t give myself time to question & retrospect, if this was something I really wanted to do, if yes — was that the right way to do it, or was I chasing it for the results?
That’s how I began hating something I’ve been really interested into, coding. I wasn’t learning for learning, I was for catching upto peers & satisfy my FOMO.
I came out of a rat-race & started running another one.
I’ll explain this towards the end.
Lesson #1 — Comparing yourself with another makes you feel even more shit about yourself & adds no value. Look upto people, their journey & struggles, learn from it. Each one of our paths are very very different & comparing won’t help in any manner. Save your energy & stop doing this crap, please.
Don’t Heckin’ Compare.
Take Inspiration, Don’t Feed Competition.
Mistake #2 — Lack Of Consistency.
The ability to show up everyday, consistently & do what needs to be done, even it is just for 1% is a SuperPower! We underrate the enormous level of impact our little actions on everyday basis can yield in the long run.
Then, why don’t we take this seriously? Because, we function on feedback loops & this requires patience. Once we don’t see results, we trace back. That is where the line of difference between everyone & one who stands apart falls.
I’ve read Atomic Habits more than 10+ times & sucessfully failed to execute what the book says to. Why? I was in a hurry to change my life, satisfy my FOMO that I never focused on what the book actually wanted me to do, rather I was in a hurry to get the atomic results. Exactly something what the book tells you not to do. See, the Irony here.
Lesson #2 — It’s simple. Show up everyday, don’t focus too much on the grander results, just the tiny results. Base your happiness on what you do today & not what is left to do. All you need to care for is making the 24 Hrs that lie ahead & if you feel satisfied for the work you’ve put in which you intended to, irrespective of results, you can be happy. You’re growing. Relax.
Consistency Is Undoubtedly, A SuperPower!
Mistake #3 — Lack Of Patience.
I was in a rabbit-hole. I was done with Work From Home. I couldn’t stand a chance anymore. Everyone is living their best of lives back offline, trippings, campus life & here I’m rotting with a sucking campus & enclosed within 4 Walls, going through the same tedious mundane routine everyday, rotting how much life sucks.
This level of frustration, screws the hell outta patience. I wanted to move out desperately, live the life I’ve wanted to, which requires money, which needs job, which needs skills.
I could’ve settled for something that came through campus placement at some mediocre company, doing something I hate even more for the money, but being someone who prioritizes mental health over anything in life, I made a pact with myself that I’d do only something I love to do, won’t settle for the ordinary.
This screws up with the art of learning. Every single time I’m tryna learn something, I’m pushing even harder to master it even quick to get a job, make some money & move out.
there’s this quote which goes “you can’t heal from an environment that made you sick” then what about the scenario if one can’t leave the sick environment, but has to heal/grow from there?
I still haven’t found a way to tackle this, but I’ve realized how this screws up so much & yields no value other than even more frustration.
Lesson #3 — Patience is also A SuperPower, to stand out. In a world chasing Instant Gratification, the way to stand out is being extremely patient, focusing on the process over the results, having faith in oneself that things will workout. There’s a famous Steve Jobs quote to this.
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. — Steve Jobs.
Mistake #4 — Being Jack Of All Trades.
It’s fine to explore, try out stuff, that’s curiosity. But, you gotta focus somewhere right to get started? I was overwhelmed by all these people around me who were doing fabulous & tried to be all of them. I was a Jack’ll Trades, but master of none. Don’t do this.
It’s fine to be a Jack’ll Trades, when you’re a Master of atleast one, or even more. Specializing on one skill, mastering that one is very underrated. we’re deceived by everyone around us with multitude skills & try learning everything only to end up with nothing. it’s fine to be overwhelmed by others, but start with one. master it. then, move to next.
You can conquer all mountains, But only one at a time :)
Lesson #4 — Keep on exploring, learning & tinkering otherwise you won’t find what you love to do. Be A Jack’ll Trades, but make sure you’re focusing deep something you love to do & mastering it!
Because, Jack’ll trades has this remarkable power to fool ourselves into a superiority feeling which is a pure sham. Don’t fall for this trap.
Mistake #5 — Trying To Fit In.
Humans are social animals. Every single time we encounter a new culture, we tend to fit in. This is social behavior & fine. What matters is not allowing the tribe to influence your pathway.
It is equally important to embrace diverse perspective, question existing ideologies, challenging yourself to break the barriers & strive for growth.
This is significant because, I was keen to stand out from my campus toxic circle. Once I came into this community culture, I standing fitting in to reach up to their standards in terms of skills & intellect, I stopped questioning what was right & wrong, embraced everything that came the way as normal & went with the flow. Don’t do this.
Lesson #5 — It’s fine to fit it. That’s not the problem. Ensure, you fit in at the right tribe, digest the right ideologies & differentiate what drags your growth down. Don’t follow the herd blindly, follow the right tribe, wisely.
Mistake #6 — Chasing Another Rat Race.
I was keen into making sure I never did run the rat-race, what I failed to differentiate was that there are different versions of the rat-race.
Even though I wasn’t chasing the regular monotonous way of approaching jobs, learning just the syllabus & obsessing cgpa over skills, something I failed to understand was once I came into the community exposure is:
I was running the FOMO Rat-Race. A race that is obsessed with reaching upto the standards of someone else to satisfy one’s self esteem.
I was running the Gratification Rat-Race, where I was learning stuff yet even more obsessed with instant results rather patience & consistency shadowed by the outcomes over the process.
Lesson #6 — Not fitting in the regular rat-race gives one a superior feeling of standing out, but what needs to be taken care of is making sure they aren’t running another Rat-Race unknowingly.
Mistake #7 — Undermining Curiosity.
One of Naval Ravikant‘s philosophies that impacts me deep within is:
“Success is a by-product of learning & learning is a by-product of curiosity. So, if we’re genuinely curious about something, we’ll be highly successful in it.”
I undermined my curiosity to fit into the normal. I categorized stuff I was into (Astrophysics, Climate Change, Human Disabilities & tons tons more) as a waste of time, because none is the circle was thinking about all these stuff. I considered myself as an outcast & madmen.
Only to realize after a certain amount of time on how my curiosity makes me stand apart from the crowd. Curiosity is SuperPower we’re all blessed with by birth, but something we underrate & under-use the most.
Lesson #7— Don’t restrain yourself! Be extremely curious. Ask Questions. Learn for love of learning. Don’t fall for what’s ordinary, seek the extraordinary. Never Settle. Ask. Ask. Ask. What makes you different, is shaped by your curiosity. Never Compromise it. It’s your SuperPower!
The End Is Here.
Most people don’t blog nowadays. Our attention spans are massacred by social media. We can’t even read a full paragraph with patience. We’re marching towards a mental doomsday.
My blogs are just for sharing my thoughts in my very little corner of the internet, hoping if it could, let it add value to someone. It really doesn’t matter to me if anyone reads it or not. At least, even after I’m no more, a small fragment of mine will persist for right?
Somewhere in the deepest corners of the internet, I’ll live by my thoughts, my stories & leave a smile on the one person who would read along the farthest ends & recall at least for a second that a person like this existed & all he wanted was to share love, happiness & memories.
Smile Please :)